NEW WORDS FOR 2006
TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking B0llockss.
BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting around in a group, discussing why
a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who
flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS.
The process by which
people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather
than working hard.
SALMON DAY.
The experience of
spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.
CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING.
When someone yells or drops something
loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's
going on.
SITCOMs.
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have
children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a
"home business".
SINBAD.
single working girls. Single income, no
boyfriend and desperate.
STRESS PUPPY.
A person who seems to
thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking
the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
OHNOSECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which
you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')
GOING FOR A McSHIT.
Entering a fast food restaurant with no
intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply
staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is
known as a McShit with Lies.
AUSSIE KISS.
Similar to a French Kiss,
but given down under.
BEER COAT.
The invisible but warm
coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at
BEER COMPASS.
The invisible device that ensures your
safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember
where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.
BOBFOC.
Body Off
Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.
BREAKING THE SEAL.
Your first pee in the
pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet
will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night
GREYHOUND.
A very short skirt, only
an inch from the hare.
MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra,
i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually
nought in there worth seeing
MONKEY
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself
in, you go: "Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".
MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday
night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the
unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come
back in.
MYSTERY TAXI.
The taxi that arrives at your place on
Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with,
and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead
PICASSO BUM.
A woman whose knickers are too small for
her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks
SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight
person
SWAMP-DONKEY.
A deeply unattractive woman